Well, we are a quarter the way through 2019 already and this year like the last is flying by!!
At this time of year there is another period of reflection as the financial year comes to an end so time to review the business performance for the last 12 months and plan for the next twelve.
Overall I’m really happy with the way the business is going, I’ve seen substantial growth in all areas of the business not just financially but also in the type of work that I’m being asked to deliver to the companies I work with which include large international companies.
I’m still not good at celebrating my successes or talking about the work I do so this is something I’m aiming to work on over the next year as I know that people are often taken aback by the work I do and the companies I work for (in a good way obviously) as when I actually think about it, it’s a pretty impressive list – One of the major supermarkets, a national hotel chain, a large global chemical company and the list could go on…!
Even through March has been extremely busy with me working 12 hour days 6 days a week for most of the month I don’t think I’ve laughed or smiled so much in a very long time, it feels like all the hard knocks and challenges I’ve faced in recent times have started to pay off and proves that if you work hard and don’t give up you will eventually be rewarded! I feel like I can come out of hibination and start to live a little again rather than just survive.
I’m not quite ready to take my foot of the gas or rest on my laurels just yet as the coming 6 weeks look set to continue in the same vein & I can’t wait for all the exciting projects I’m working on to come to fruition.
However, there is a big fat white elephant in the room which I don’t talk about much and that’s being single, don’t get me wrong I love my life as it is and enjoy the freedom that single life brings, it just would be nice to share my life with someone. And yes I know that having a partner isn’t the be all and end all, just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you are not lonely, yarda yarda yarda I’ve heard it all before especially from people who are in happy, fulfilling & loving relationships (or so it seems from the outside).
I’ve been single for the last seven and half-year (all the time I’ve run my business, coincidence I wonder!), in that time I’ve had a few flings, I’ve met some true gentlemen and some real arses!!
My business has proved that what you focus on you get, yet when it comes to love I’m too scared to focus on it as I worry that not only might I get my heart-broken again but also that if I stop focusing on the business might that take a downward turn?!? So as much as I’ve smiled lots this month as there’s been lots to celebrate it’s been a little hollow without a special someone to raise a glass with!! I’m not a grand gesture kind of girl. it’s just the little things I miss, like a hug at the end of a long day, a mug of tea brought to me while I’m working, someone to share the ups and downs with.
Over the last 18 months I’ve said to myself on many occasions when I’ve completed this or that then I’ll get back on the dating sites but when the time comes to actually register I get cold feet and find something else to focus on or aim for. I bury my feelings by keeping busy so I don’t get too upset about my situation but sometimes these feelings bubble up in the most awkward of places like when I’m out at a business networking event and asked if my husband is in the RAF (I live in an ex-RAF house) or how old are my children and like now as I’m typing this I get a lump in my throat when I have to honestly answer that I don’t have a partner or children. I’ve learnt to keep my emotion in check during the event but there are usually tears in the car on the drive home!
On the health and fitness side of things it’s been a bit hit and miss, I’ve managed to get to the box a few more times, at the end of February I joined the local leisure centre with a swim only membership as it’s something I’ve missed over the years during the time I’ve been doing Crossfit, so that’s been lovely getting back into the pool, I find it both relaxing and cathatic doing length although I’m still getting used to lane etiquette!! In the same week a friend of mine suggested I did a 5km open water swim with her in June, I was going to go and support her anyway so I thought what the heck, why not!! So entry paid for, wetsuit bought and training underway it’s given me something to focus on over the coming months which isn’t the business or my lovelife (or non-exsistent one).
Just as I was starting to write this post, this quote popped up on my pinerest feed which seems quite apt!