Journey of discovery…

For as long as I can remember I’ve suffered from low self-belief/confidence & esteem, you might be surprised at this as I’ve become very good at hiding it and putting on a front/game-face when I’m out and about, be this at a networking event or presenting in front of a room full of people.

At times its crippling especially now that I run my own business and every penny I earn is solely down to me, one of the key strengths I constantly read an entrepreneur needs is self-belief so over-coming this is essential if I want my business/life to succeed.

I kind of know what’s caused it but that doesn’t help you overcome these challenges as it’s in the past & nothing I do now can change history, I have tried every therapy out there to help me deal with it, I’ve read numerous books with little success.

The last 12-18 months have moved me along a bit & I’m in a better place than I was just 2 years ago…I do believe life is a journey & we should enjoy the ride even if sometimes you just want to get off the roller-coaster called life & just observe for a while. During this time of struggle I’ve realised I’m a lot stronger both physically & mentally than I ever thought I was and I’ve got a lot of bouncebackability (or resilience), it doesn’t take much to knock me down given my low self-belief etc but I’m that kind of person who just gets right up again, dust myself off & keep going no matter what, I’m so glad that I have an innate positivity & optimism that drives the fire in my belly to carry on following my dreams no matter how hard it is.

Starting CrossFit has helped me improve these traits too as doing CrossFit has a lot to do with mind & how you handle the WOD not just the strength you have. I love CrossFit & it’s started me on the journey of falling in love with my body which I’ve hated for years which I believe is linked to self-confidence & self-esteem

So when my coach told me that Tony Robins (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Robbins) was in the UK at the end of March doing this famous – “Unleash the power within” workshop & suggested I book onto it, I did as I was told & booked it… since booking I’ve spoken to a number of people who’ve been on this workshop & have spoken highly of it.

However, since booking on it, it’s been playing on my mind and now with it being just 3 days away I’m actually getting nervous about it & how it will change me. I’m stressing as it includes the famous “Firewalk” but also some very long days & late nights (my usually bedtime is 9pm) the first day we don’t finish until midnight, how am I going to cope with this?!?

I’m stressing about getting to the venue, finding my accommodation, food/drink during the weekend, in honesty I don’t need to stress about any of this, I’ve been to the venue loads of times before (ExCeL), I’ve got all the details of my accommodation & how to get there, I’ve bought enough snacks & water to keep me going for the whole weekend. My train tickets & event ticket are printed out, my pre-loaded Oyster card arrived a few days ago so really everything is sorted but I’m still checking it everything 2 minutes & worried I have forgotten something!!

If I was going to a conference/workshop for me as Firecracker, I wouldn’t think anything of it as I would be able to put on my Firecracker mask but as its me laid bare so to speak it’s actually quite daunting.

I’m going to remove all distraction for the weekend (Thurs-Mon) by de-activating my email accounts on my phone & deleting social media apps so I can purely focus on being present during all the sessions, so will fill you in when it’s over about what I learnt & how it’s going to change my future.

What have you done to overcome a barrier what stopped you being who you want to be? I’d love to hear your stories.