In this connected world…

… how comes the number of people who feel lonely is growing?

And at times me being one of those people!! Now I’m not looking for sympathy as I’ve chosen my life and in the most parts, I’m really happy as I’m beholden to no-one but every so often I do get pangs of loneliness!!

In doing research for this blog all the stats and information about loneliness is mainly focused on the older generation and it would also seem that there are many projects to help with this issue. But about people like me?!?

I then came across this infographic from Office of National Statistics which actually shows that it’s middle-aged people who are feeling lonely more than the older generation.

So I’ll share with you my situation!! I’m currently single, I live on my own and I run my own business from home, all my family live hundreds of miles away, I have a great circle of friends however most have partners and/or have children and busy lives…

Often when I’ve mentioned to people about feeling lonely, I’m often told that just because you are in a relationship you don’t get lonely & I totally get that but this is often said by someone in a relationship or the other response is well you can always call or message me, which is lovely but I feel like I might call at a difficult time!!

I get out and about quite a lot with my business and am part of a CrossFit community, I know in recent years I’ve not been out much socially due to financial constraints which have made it harder to keep the loneliness at bay but my door is always open for visitors & tea guest!! I’ll happily cook tea for anyone if it means not spending another evening on my own!! Don’t all shout at once…

Its just the little things that hit you hard really, I’m not Bridget Jones crying into my Chardonnay every night but there are tearful moments, a good example of this was last week I spoke at a conference, it was a big deal for me, it went really well and when I got home it would have lovely to share my day with someone & have a glass of wine and celebrate. Or when I organised a BBQ over a weekend and one by one all the people invited contacted me to say they couldn’t make it and they all had valid reasons and I wasn’t angry with any of them but then it left me spending a weekend on my own!!

It’s having someone to give you hug when you’ve had a rubbish day or to make you a cup of tea when you’re working hard and don’t have time to stop or cook you tea when you are too tired to do it yourself.

I’ve often felt like a spare part when at social events when everyone else is paired up, even if it’s with their best friend rather than a partner and I just feel like the odd one out!!

This leaves me wondering, is it me? is there something wrong with me?

But it’s not just about being single, it’s feeling that you are invisible unless you shout up, I do my best to stay in contact with friends and when possible arrange to meet up, however, I do wonder if I didn’t make the effort what would become of that friendship?!

Like a said at the top of the post I’m not looking for sympathy, just remember that what you see on social media might always be what’s going on and a message to a friend might just brighten their day to know someone somewhere is thinking of them!!

Much Love, Rachel xx

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